Introduction --- Uhh, no its not about the stupid puzzle-whatever game Bookworm, it IS about books. Honestly, you should worry about your health if you thought that...

Sick, tired, and bored, bored, bored to brink-of-death of crappy books and crappier reviews? No? Oh, well, I am, for one, and I'm sure you're too-[NO I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE SHAKING YOUR HEAD FURIOUSLY READING THIS, CAUSE I AM SURE YOU'RE LYING!!! HMPH! SO THERE!!].

Anyways, now that we're all on the same gently rocking boat about how sick we are of non-awesome reading [chants "you are too, you are too, you are too..."], lets talk about what we can do about it. Or rather, what I'm trying to do about it.

*puts on mock serious face* The very, very, very, VERY [uhh, sorry I tend to repeat my words as I search my head for what to say next. Though here, well, I was just simply placing emphasis on the the extreme, extreme, extreme, extreme..... *ahem*] first dilemma that avid readers face in their frantic searches for a good book at the, lets say, Duty Free at the airport as they oh-so-patiently wait for their bloody baggage to appear or whatever.

A person, I believe, chooses a book on either (or all) of three fundamental grounds.

a) The Appealing Book Cover : This is probably the most cunning ploy used by publishers all over the world. Also, the most deceptive. An example of this, is the front page of the Twilight saga. Apples in hand, a chess board perhaps. Now, anyone would have liked the cover, and would have bought it, perhaps as a present to the family nerd or someone on their birthday, thinking that inside the pages of the paperback there'll be wonderfully woven tales of [insert important-sounding-name of a male lover]. But, alas, no, Stephanie Meyer was far too drunk, and surely we can NOT blame her for the shit she wrote, and OBVIOUSLY her agent had a massive hangover. Ditto publishing house. As above for book dealer.

Ahem, anyways, coming to the next point.

b) The Novel Name : I have NO FRIGGING idea why Twilight is called twilight. If it would have been called The Stupid Tales of Edward the Bastard and Bella the Bitch, I'd have even given the book 1 star. For having such a realistic name. But, no, alas, the writer had sometime in her childhood, when she had dreamt of writing a book, thought that if she ever writes a book, she'll name it New Moon. Which is stupid and lame considering vamps have nothing to do with the moon. Should I critically analyse her anymore? I could do it for hours, no sweat...
Oh, well. Now, the important thing is, NOT TO FELL FOR THE AWESOME CAPTIVATING TITLE EVEN IF IT APPLIES TO YOUR LIFE. It will apply, lets take, A Girl's Guide To Everything. Believe me, it holds no secret formulas to magically disappearing zits or making someone love you or the likes. Zilch. So you might as well save your money. Save and buy a Mercedes Benz or whatever. Instead, go for titles you have heard of before, or someone suggested you, and there'll be less chances of you wanting to fling the book down the stairs and jump up and down on it in your rain-soaked boots and/or throttle the author.

c) The Lying Review At The Back : Two things to note here. First, do not (I repeat with perseverance: DO NOT) under any circumstance be made a fool of and be tricked not by the wonderful comments at the back, be it even from your favorite magazine, say, Hello!, because they more often than not, ARE for the same writers but seldom from the same book. I mean to say, that if suddenly Rowling was to write a very boring, extremely irrelevant novel, they (the publishers) add the remarkable reviews of Harry Potter in that book, which is, for obvious reasons, and undeniably, deceptive. Plus a waste of money. How much did you say a Volvo approx costs, my dear...?
The second point here is the OUTRAGEOUSLY EXAGGERATED plot synopsis at the said back cover with pathetic cliches like "a page turner" or something. Publishing houses (Not to take names) hire employees for this purpose of writing the synopsis. Apparently, it is a clever sales strategy and loads of people buy the book seeing the suspenseful and highly-praising commentary at the back. You read my blog. You should never do it if you don't want to offend me into blocking you.
N.E.V.E.R.

So long till the next post, keep an eye out for the RIGHT ways to pick a book.

Till then: Happy Reading!

Love,
BW :)

PS No, the name is not meant to as in its literal sense, just the metaphorical.
What? No, no, I KNOW you're smart enough.